Getting back to blogging after a long time. Well, there’s tons of stuff I can write about, but it’s all un-publishable stuff. You see, writing is the only way I know to get rid of my frustrations.
That is because, I can’t yell at people. I can’t tell them just what I think of them. Believe me, I’ve tried. Only to end up looking like a fool, with tears in my eyes, and a croaky voice. Unable to express myself, afraid to hurt, willing to avoid the awkwardness that usually follows… Phew, just can’t do it!!!
But, I’m beginning to wonder. Do people around me notice this? Do they see this as a sign of my weakness? Do they wait for the right moment to attack? Or do they just do it to entertain themselves? To see if I’ll crack? To see if I’ll lose control? Just to test my patience!
And what do I do once I’m hurt? It’s so damn hard acting like nothings happened. To continue pretending that nothings wrong. To look the same people in the face and convince myself that maybe I am doing the right thing, when I know deep down that it just can’t be…
Maybe I should just let go of myself once in a way. Just yell my lungs out!! Without giving a hoot about the tears and stuff! Just to let them know, that I do have feelings. I cannot be trampled upon. And I don’t deserve to be treated this way!
So this is me… taking a vow… That the next time anyone messes with me, they’re gonna get to see a side of me they haven’t seen before…
And anyone here got a problem with that?
Then go suck an egg!!!
:P
